What's the point, if you hate & kill for love?

I hate the "beautiful" everyone wants to be; even me.
I hate the pointless conversation about nothing;
but i hate when they try to push conversation about something.
I hate myself for wanting to change;
but i hate myself for not being that way.
I hate sarcasm that is honest.
I hate truth that doesn't dare to take a chance to show more than what is obvious.
I hate how everything around here makes me think i hate me;
but i hate how i really hate to love me.